Naked Marketing

…broke my brain

Some weeks ago, I put a story slide out on Instagram saying that the Nakedmarketingschool course I did earlier in the year had been a 'band-aid on my mental health'. I've been thinking about that a lot since then, and actually for a long time now. There was recently a suggestion made that the reason behind my burnout was the addition of that course to my already heaving schedule. I did wonder, given that the utter collapse of my mental health occurred just around the deadline for final submission of the work… had I bought it on myself by taking part by taking part? Taking on too much? I think I did, but not in the obvious way.

In many ways it was a band aid; it provided me with a safe space in which to be my authentic and honest self. A space in which to voice my hopes and dreams. A space in which to be vulnerable, nurtured through that vulnerability to a place of strength; and be held in support of those dreams. It was like a more intensive version of the little corner of Instagram that I had been trying to cultivate for myself, but without the threat of outside invasion, censorship or misunderstanding. A space where everyone else there was invested in the pursuit of the same things as I was; owning their truth. It certainly felt like mental health support of the highest order.

The deadline did not represent the potentially burnout-inducing pressure that deadlines of the past had; there was no need for caffeine fuelled all-nighters, hours of redrafting and proof-reading, panicked attempts to reference every relevant article or paper to the subject. It was simply the compilation of the work that I had spent 6 months steadily working through with the guidance of my teachers and the support of my classmates. We had been given the sage advice that done is better than perfect; just to submit whatever we had done, in whatever state it was in. The ultimate low pressure deadline.

At the time of my diagnosis; still just over a month ago- I put the start of my gradual decline as some time in April and the fact that this coincided with the start of Naked marketing was further fuel to the fire. However it has recently become obvious that the decline was actually much earlier than that. I came across some story slides from October 2020 when looking for some information about a previous project, and the signs were already there. Even then the problems had been around for long enough that I was already convinced everyone was sick of me moaning about them on Instagram! In fact people who know me from Facebook or real life have been sick of me moaning about them forever!

So what was the contribution of Naked Marketing to where I now find myself? Barely functional, utterly unable to perform my paying job and with little indication of when I might be able to return? It was huge. It broke me. Had I not done the course I may well not have burned out.

Yet.

Because it was always going to happen. It was inevitable that at some point it would all catch up with me. Maybe not now but in a six months or a year (at a push by my reckoning). The kindling had been laid since childhood; larger sticks added through two degree courses and a professional diploma; logs from multiple mis-steps across the bridge from trainee to career grade scientist; two traumatic birth experiences, PND, PTSD… Each of these additions to my brain bonfire had come with a misdiagnosis of depression and/ or anxiety, and to be fair sometimes they probably were co-morbid; but in the long run there was only ever going to be one outcome of living the kind of life I was trying to live with undiagnosed ADHD, and that's burnout.

I think in this analogy, NM was the accelerant; soaking all of that solid fuel to ensure it's flammability when the fuse was eventually lit. Or maybe, rather the oxygen, that without all of that combustible material and the flame that lit the fuse, would have been perfectly innocuous, in fact super-healthy. So why was NM so essential to the burning of this fire, right now? Because what it did was what it said on the tin- it got me naked.

I had considered refusing the generous scholarship offer because I did not have anything to sell. I did not believe my art to be worthy of marketing; in truth I was still nervous even calling it art. There was also the worry about the myriad other commitments I had on my plate. But the naked bit… y'all know me! That caught my attention. That was what I was all in for. That is what my intuition was telling me I needed, so I grabbed the chance with both hands. Because if Yan 'Magic Pants' Palmer and ‘Bloody’ Bec Griffiths think my art is worth marketing, you can bet your ass I'm gonna do the course, I'm gonna call it art and I'm gonna market the shiz out of it! (At some point when I've glued some of the bits of my brain back together!).

So back to getting naked… I'd done Peep Show back in October last year and had a glimpse into what the course was like. I've spoken to some people since doing the course about what naked Marketing is like, but ultimately it's indescribable. The closest I can get is to say that it is more of a course in self discovery; a crazy, cool combination of psychology, group therapy, mentoring, coaching and yes… some business and marketing stuff.

As alumni, we were asked to explain what getting naked meant to us. I wrote: 'Getting naked to me means stripping back everything that creates a barrier between you and your audience. It means openness, honesty and vulnerability. It means truth.'

That's happened to me on the course. Not only did I strip away the barriers between me and my audience. Also, and more importantly I stripped away the labels, stories and negative beliefs that I had clothed myself in over the years.

And in my nakedness; without the barriers through which I had always viewed myself, I found myself.

I found my truth.

And that is how Naked Marketing broke my brain. In the best possible way!