...that bit where the lights start to come up! Last Thursday I sent a WhatsApp to my line manager and told her my fears. I admitted that I am still not coping well in the office environment; that on some days when I leave, I am in tears, barely able to walk straight...
I normally work part time in an attempt to balance everything. The home stuff. The bee keeping stuff. The family stuff and the creative stuff I found when we get busy the creative stuff is the first to go and then the balance falls over. I worked full time this week for one day and it all fell over. Things were forgotten. Daily routines messed up. An unhappy puppy which meant a naughty puppy. It was a gentle reminder of what works best for me
I honestly don't know how people manage to balance full time work, with life and I used to do it! I've been P/T since having the kids but dropped another half day a few months ago when it became clear I couldn't manage as I could before my burnout. Although it's increasingly obvious I couldn't manage it before either, and that's part of why I did burn out. I'm still only doing my usual hours, but the change in routine and being on-site more is the stinger. Hope the pup forgives you soon. Xx
Last week I wrote a post about something very similar - accepting the truth of where I'm at and trying to stop hiding her/rejecting her, instead of only showing the 'better' version of myself to the world (very different to your post though). Beautiful read ❤ and I'm so glad that when you drop the mask you are being met with compassion and kindness. If everyone knew that it could be that way, we would all be much better off.
Ahhh, it's not always that way, but I'm not in a space to be able to tell those tales yet. There are definitely some spaces where it's easier than others, and some that feel safe, but turn out not to be. I've not fully learned to discern which is which yet, and I'm not convinced it's even possible, but thats another post! I thought I was subscribed to your newsletter but have done just now as didn't seem to be! I wondered if it was because you'd changed the name, but it seemed to have done it with Gaelle's too!🤷🏾♀️
I meant to say, I'm sure sometimes people don't react so well, but the fact of putting yourself out there counts for so much, especially as we can never know what kind of reaction we will be met with.
And thank you for subscribing - but no pressure :) If you do have time to read it, I hope you enjoy and gain something from it.
Oof, feeling this one, especially as I’m reading these in the wiring order and know where you are at with it now.
This is taking me back to 2007 when attempts to make up for my perceived failings meant not insisting that the 2 weeks off for shingles was NOT holiday time and that I was still owed holiday time. I didn’t push it (combo of not wanting be be seen as even more of a problem, and being too exhausted from the shingles to have yet another work battle).
The following hit was immense, and along with a few other workplace battles (on behalf of those not able to fight for themselves) it all snowballed into my ME/CFS returning with the fullest force ever. All of it would have been avoided if they’d treated me (at a minimum) as they were legally required to (and likewise with the others that they then sacked).
Why can’t workplaces (esp those at the ‘top’) see that they are wasting talent by trying to extract our skills and time without taking care of our whole being? So many ways we are treated like disposable batteries when actually we are rechargeables and getting the time for recharging means we are better at our jobs (though I wish our output was not the sole measurement of our worth as it often is).
I’m sure if the external push was reduced to be doing all the things in demand we’d be better able to spot and address our own need for rest sooner so that it wouldn’t always have to get so bad in the first place. We need real and sustainable options for self and mutual care that would ultimately benefit us all.
I normally work part time in an attempt to balance everything. The home stuff. The bee keeping stuff. The family stuff and the creative stuff I found when we get busy the creative stuff is the first to go and then the balance falls over. I worked full time this week for one day and it all fell over. Things were forgotten. Daily routines messed up. An unhappy puppy which meant a naughty puppy. It was a gentle reminder of what works best for me
I honestly don't know how people manage to balance full time work, with life and I used to do it! I've been P/T since having the kids but dropped another half day a few months ago when it became clear I couldn't manage as I could before my burnout. Although it's increasingly obvious I couldn't manage it before either, and that's part of why I did burn out. I'm still only doing my usual hours, but the change in routine and being on-site more is the stinger. Hope the pup forgives you soon. Xx
Last week I wrote a post about something very similar - accepting the truth of where I'm at and trying to stop hiding her/rejecting her, instead of only showing the 'better' version of myself to the world (very different to your post though). Beautiful read ❤ and I'm so glad that when you drop the mask you are being met with compassion and kindness. If everyone knew that it could be that way, we would all be much better off.
Ahhh, it's not always that way, but I'm not in a space to be able to tell those tales yet. There are definitely some spaces where it's easier than others, and some that feel safe, but turn out not to be. I've not fully learned to discern which is which yet, and I'm not convinced it's even possible, but thats another post! I thought I was subscribed to your newsletter but have done just now as didn't seem to be! I wondered if it was because you'd changed the name, but it seemed to have done it with Gaelle's too!🤷🏾♀️
I meant to say, I'm sure sometimes people don't react so well, but the fact of putting yourself out there counts for so much, especially as we can never know what kind of reaction we will be met with.
And thank you for subscribing - but no pressure :) If you do have time to read it, I hope you enjoy and gain something from it.
Oof, feeling this one, especially as I’m reading these in the wiring order and know where you are at with it now.
This is taking me back to 2007 when attempts to make up for my perceived failings meant not insisting that the 2 weeks off for shingles was NOT holiday time and that I was still owed holiday time. I didn’t push it (combo of not wanting be be seen as even more of a problem, and being too exhausted from the shingles to have yet another work battle).
The following hit was immense, and along with a few other workplace battles (on behalf of those not able to fight for themselves) it all snowballed into my ME/CFS returning with the fullest force ever. All of it would have been avoided if they’d treated me (at a minimum) as they were legally required to (and likewise with the others that they then sacked).
Why can’t workplaces (esp those at the ‘top’) see that they are wasting talent by trying to extract our skills and time without taking care of our whole being? So many ways we are treated like disposable batteries when actually we are rechargeables and getting the time for recharging means we are better at our jobs (though I wish our output was not the sole measurement of our worth as it often is).
I’m sure if the external push was reduced to be doing all the things in demand we’d be better able to spot and address our own need for rest sooner so that it wouldn’t always have to get so bad in the first place. We need real and sustainable options for self and mutual care that would ultimately benefit us all.